i was thinking about conundrums
my cat wags her tail and barks like a dog
but she cleans herself and won’t play fetch.
we humor her when she guards the door
and confuse her by giving her tuna fish.
making balloon animals is very difficult.
you twist and twist and turn and tuck.
and if you lose your grip, it unravels.
but it was never actually a poodle, anyways.
a patron of charity is highly regarded
but to be patronize is highly rejected.
and i’ve never wanted to be either of those
but i’ve also never had a geanie lamp.
well, i was thinking about conundrums
and i think this is vaguely related
so now that i have your attention
when will it be your turn?
It’s all fresh, anew with a dozen roses from you.
They drink and they bask and they bloom,
Then they wilt, we die, we always do.
Bah-Dump. Bah-Dump. Bah-Dump
poprocksforbreakfast asked: I really like your blog!
Thankyou so much, dear!
Your Car Smells Like Gasoline
I never loved you, not at all.
Your constant, vexing narcissism.
Your one-dimensional mind.
Your witless interjections.
Tell me, who’s the man?
I mean, I get it.
If I were you,
I’d pretend to be him, too.
He’s so much more noxious than you.
His powerful choke-hold.
His vague origin.
His knowledge of destruction.
Tell me, who are you?
I mean, you don’t seem to know.
And I don’t care to know,
But you’ll never be him.
One day, when you stop hiding
Behind your engineered insanity
Your dot on the timeline
Might become the line.
i dont trust people who hate kesha
Friendly reminder this show was filmed in front of a live studio audience in one take.
And that all sitcom laugh tracks are taken from this show because the laughter was so sincere.
I always have to reblog this. It’s too good.
They are just my fave.
what happens when there are two elephants in a room
looking at you is like looking into a fan on a hot day
it’s a relief because the fan makes it so much cooler
but i can’t really look because it stings.
so i close my eyes and think of going to the pool instead
but then i remember the lifeguards and feel like i’m drowning.
when someone yells and it echos through a room
i can never tell where the direct sound came from
and every echo is mocking me and reminding me
that i can’t really distinguish between what’s real and what’s not
and the reverberation explains all these headaches.
sometimes i sit around and write my name backwards
because it’s less deceiving that way
kayla, she’s got it all together and she’s moving forward
alyak, what does that even mean i don’t get it
yeah, alyak, that’s exactly right
i touch my arms and legs and hips when i’m alone
trying to figure out why everyone else likes to touch them so much
but i can’t figure it out because people don’t regard touches
like cats and dogs regard being pet
or maybe we do, but i think that’s out of context
when i’m drowning in a pool of water and lifeguards
and my cries for help echo throughout the room
i imagine my name backwards in my head
so when they touch my hips and my legs and my arms to save me
i can figure out whether they’re really saving me